BARB & LIZ’S GREAT ADVENTURE!!
So we’re back from fabulous NYC where we did the Today Show, The Gayle King Show, Me & Vinnie, and Time.com. We also had a quickie with Lemondrop.com which lead to the front page of AOL. But it all seemed to pale in comparison to the COME TO YOUR SENSES DAY READINGS that went on in 6 cities across the country.
Shout-outs to our unbelievably wonderful emcees: WENDY HAMMERS (LA), JEANNE ROMANO (Seattle), COURTENAY HAMEISTER (Portland), CINDY GOLD (Chicago) and JAN WORTHINGTON (Boston) and to all the wild and crazy and brave and talented contributors who got up in front of hundreds of people to share their most embarrassing or shameful or pathetic moments.
I guess the thing that surprised us all was how EMPOWERING the readings were. Who would think that listening to a bunch of women describe how they twisted themselves into people they didn’t recognize in order to stay in a relationship would be so transformational? But it was. And exciting and energizing and last, but certainly not least: HOPEFUL ABOUT LOVE.
It is my belief…well, I have a LOT of beliefs but my first is: PEOPLE TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES — IF YOU LISTEN. I talked about this many times on the road. Our lives would be so much easier if we didn’t have needs or expectations that we looked to others to fulfill. But because we do, we don’t hear or believe what people tell us about themselves. So we go full steam into a relationship only to find out, sometimes years later, that the thing they told us in the beginning is really true.
My second belief is an off-shoot of “It takes a village,” and that is: MOTHERS GIVES LIFE BUT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS RAISE YOU.
My Inner Circle, as I like to call them, doesn’t judge me but they DO keep me honest. I can say, “I’m going to go running with scissors,” and they’ll say “You know you could get very hurt,” and as long as I say “I understand that” they let me do it. It’s when I say to them, and myself, “There’s no danger here,” that’s when they intercede.
I once married a guy after knowing him for two weeks. I was SHOCKED when it only lasted 49 days. SHOCKED, I tell you. But because of that I did something very clever. I appointed myself a Board of Directors to help me run my life because clearly, I was doing a really sucky job.
It was NOT easy. One of them almost put me into receivership but I am VERY happy to say that on March 8th I will be with a man 8 years (married 3 1/2) who I never could, or would dare, dream existed.
Which reminds me of ANOTHER theory: LIFE can be hard, RELATIONSHIPS don’t have to be.
Did the holidays put ‘Junk in YOUR trunk?’
I have a lot of ‘junk’ anyway and the holidays just did me in. I can’t imagine being in Amy Wruble’s position - if that had EVER happened to me - I’d have just crawled under a rock to die. She’s my hero. Plus, I want her ‘trunk.’
Check it out if you haven’t seen it.
Maybe we should all start a I LOVE AMY’S TRUNK fanclub.
HOST YOUR OWN “COME TO YOUR SENSES DAY” EVENT!
If you can’t make it to our live readings on Feb. 15th at Borders in NY, LA, BOSTON, CHICAGO, SEATTLE or Powell’s in Portland, perhaps you’d like to get your girlfriends together and host your OWN COME TO YOUR SENSES DAY!
Buy the kit invite your best gal pals, order in a pizza or do pot luck, and drink. It’s really hard to have these kind of WHAT WAS I THINKING epiphanies when you’re sober. But remember - YOU HAVE TO BE COMPLETELY OVER HIM!!! No getting drunk and getting the dialies.
FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS DRINK AND DIAL. 
What Was I Thinking — the teenage version
I was talking to bunch of eighth-grade girls and we were discussing how you know if a boy will be a bad boyfriend. Here were the top answers:
1. If he’s mean to a waiter or other service people
2. If he doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself
3. If he ask you a question then looks over your shoulder or around the room when you’re answering
4. If he doesn’t look you in the eye.
Here’s Bonnie Bruckheimer’s answer from the book What Was I Thinking…
Tags: bad boyfriends, love, respect, sex, stories, vidlit, What Was I Thinking
CAN WOMEN STAY IN RELATIONSHIPS IF IT’S JUST ABOUT THE SEX?
One of my closest friends is in a relationship with a guy (who’s NOT HORRIBLE but that’s the best thing we can say about him) because the sex is so great. Is this enough to sustain a relationship? I guess I could ask the same about money. Is money enough to keep a relationship going?
Has anyone out there ever stayed with a boyfriend for the sex or the money? Notice I don’t say ’sex AND the money’ cause that would actually be nice. And if so, what was the moment you CAME TO YOUR SENSES?
Let us know. Send us your stories.
Tags: Add new tag, boyfriends, come to your senses, money, relationships, sex
